Do Long Distance Relationships Work?
Even if they do for some people, should you get yourself into one? If you decided to have one, how can you make it work? Long distance relationship can and will work but only if you value it and actively make it work!
Here’s the ultimate kit of 8 long distance relationship tips for tough moments– crafted by me, who successfully closed the distance with my partner after two years of an LDR! Might be good to bookmark this page and refer back to it during moments when you find yourself doubtful and insecure:
1. Talk To Your Partner ALWAYS!
If there is something bothering you, let your partner know. Don’t expect your bad mood to pass-by unnoticed, just because you don’t see each other. I learned the hard way. I would have avoided so many arguments if I followed this advice when I was going through my own LDR!
Share your feelings, fears and experiences with your SO even if they are unpleasant: knowing what you’re going through will give your partner a greater understanding of you and even bring them confidence. Being the special one in your life, able to share everything will help grow the special connection between you as a couple.
And remember, just as you tend to get into a sad mood from time to time, they do too. Just as you need little more support and loving words, they do too. Remind your partner why you love him/her (maybe more often than you would usually do if you were seeing each other every day).
Long distance relationships have a high risk of misunderstandings because of miscommunication. Trust that your partner has your best interest in mind and be patient and understanding. Be ready to listen and most importantly, always before think twice acting/talking.
2. Don’t Lose Intimate Moments (YES, that’s possible!).
The physical connection you had will be out of your lives for quite a while and you will only get to physically explore each other during your short visits or holidays, which is nowhere close to enough. Get creative and see what works for you. Sending photos, sexting, Skype sex- anything that you think will spice up your relationship. It makes it easier to wait for THAT day when you finally see your significant other.
3. Trust & Respect.
Honestly, you shouldn’t even start a relationship if you cannot trust and respect your partner. It’s not worth it! If they are going out- wish them to have fun. If you get no reply for 2 days- they might have been working overtime in order to meet a deadline or have personal life issues to deal with. Or maybe they are going for a skiing weekend with friends and are trying to enjoy it- you should only worry that they will come back in one piece! Don’t be fast to judge- learn to be more understanding in ALL situations. And if you can’t- exercise this thought process until it becomes a habit!
During this phase of your relationship, you can’t do much in terms of physical activities together or go through physical experiences together, but you have a chance to establish a different connection.
One based on trust, compassion and respect which will bring warmth to your hearts and create a great foundation for when you do end up physically together.
I know it’s not as easy as it sounds, but the only key to making a long distance relationship work is to allow your sweetheart enjoy their time and for you to enjoy yours. It will help you to be happy and make your partner appreciate you much more!
Value what you have and show your appreciation to him/her! Not many people would fall for you and then wait months to see you, their other half! You are lucky to have someone planning and anxiously waiting to spend time with you!
If you know your partner is coming to visit, it helps to tell others about them. My boyfriend used to talk to his friends about me and what kind of person I am before I came to visit him. The first time I visited him (where he was living abroad), I felt so special when everyone met me! It felt as if I was an old friend- they knew so many things about me! I learned I was a part of his daily life even though I hadn’t physically been where he was.
5. Enjoy Your Private Time!
Big distances create big time differences, which makes it even tougher to communicate. Yes, communication is one of the main keys to maintain romantic feelings but sometimes it’s impossible to give immediate attention. Don’t get angry or disappointed.
One of the main advantages of being in a long distance relationship gives you an ultimate freedom to connect with yourself! If you’re interested in this benefit, read more about how you can learn to love your LDR.
Dedicate your spare time for self-discovery and development. Jogging, cooking classes, reading, yoga certification, more time with friends? Indulge yourself into your time.
6. Don’t Blame Anyone.
We question ourselves- our decisions and all those normal couples we see every day in front of us. How did I get myself into this? Is this love worth it? How much longer can I survive?
It’s normal to occasionally get stuck with negative thoughts, but don’t forget it’s you who made the decision. You chose to make this relationship work and you know exactly why you did it, too. It’s worth waiting for better days because your partner makes you feel a way no one else in the world can. The love will get through the obstacles you are facing at these moments, if both of you are ready to work through it.
7. Have Plans!
Long distance relationship can work, but not forever. It needs to have a due date and common plans to keep both of you going until you have a steady physical relationship.
In between, have clear plans for your next meeting- spend time planning the dates, locations and details (like hotels, things you’ll do, etc..). Those days when you are together with your significant other are simply too good to describe. Days full of butterflies in the stomach, laughs, good sleep and peace. It seems even the hair tend to have “their best day” during those dates. Your heart beats faster and even your sense of smell becomes much stronger. You yearn for these days- the days of pure happiness, where it feels like you’re on the top of world. So plan these days! Talk about it and always have a schedule for the next time you will meet.
Not many long distance relationships survive, just as any other relationship. But, they are worth it for the right person and you can overcome the challenges. Using these tips will increase your chances of success- keep them in mind during the harder days and keep on fighting. It is worth it 🙂