When it comes to sex in a long distance relationship, you might think something along the lines of, “Have as much sex as possible when we meet and none while we’re apart.”
Yes, you are forced to find the balance between two extreme situations so you can make it through the inevitable, rough dry spells… But here’s the thing: being in a long distance relationship doesn’t mean you have to be sexually frustrated.
So, how is your sexual life when you get into a LDR?
There were things I loved when my man was countries away. I loved that every time I used to see him felt like the first time – the thrill before meeting, stomach ache, and feeling weak because of uncontrollable excitement. I loved pulling our clothes off every time we met, like we’ve never done it before. I loved the fact I got to experience that feeling over and over again. Living together brought a lot of peace and calmness, followed by … lots of routine. Honestly, I sometimes miss the excitement of those dates.
The best thing about being apart is that you have plenty of time to get to know each other and work on making your relationship solid as a rock. You slowly discover ways to talk about your fears, hobbies, sexual fantasies, bad habits, you name it. You really DO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. There is a big reward for those who make it through the struggle of distant love – once you close the distance, you will be able to sort out any issue just by talking.
But for now, you need to make it through your LDR. The problem is that almost everything you go through together remains online, and you rarely get the opportunity to discover every inch of your partner’s body by actually touching it.
As much as being in a long distance relationship helped us to build a strong foundation (by learning smallest details about each other, the physical, and, moreover, sexual aspects we’ve suffered etc.), we couldn’t discover our bodies, and their connections, while we were 2000 miles apart.
There are quite a few things you can do during those months when you can’t have sex
Don’t forget to masturbate.
Alone, together with your partner while on a call, while texting, on a Skype call, or watching porn together – let go of all your boundaries!
My favorite! My boyfriend helped me become a huge fan of sexting while in our LDR. It is a perfect option for those who are a bit shy to have Skype sex right off the bat – you get time to think about how to reply, and don’t have to worry about how you look.
My advice: don’t try to prepare yourself for erotic Whatsapp session with your lover. We used to start by telling each other what we miss about each other’s bodies, planning our next date (which led to discussing what exactly we will do when we meet) or sending sexual articles to each other – it naturally led towards a HOT session, and we always made sure to continue it at home if weren’t in the most comfortable locations – shopping mall, office, etc. Knowing what was waiting for us made us rush back to continue the session on Skype! Sexting is an ideal warm-up.
Play a game
Agree that, during your next date, one full day will be dedicated to satisfying your sexual fantasies, and another for satisfying your partner’s. Send your “agendas” to each other, discuss the plans, and contribute your ideas. It’s perfect for building excitement (and getting you both turned on too).
If you don’t have the urge to see your sweetheart, or if you are too shy to get on a camera yourself, this might be the right step to take before moving on to Skype sex. Ask them what they would do to you if you were next to each other and feeling lustful. After that, you might choose not to talk at all – just hearing each other’s breathing will do the job. Or, you can start playing with yourself before making a call and dial their number just when you are about to peak – let them hear you moaning and cut the call!
Another alternative for teasing them (when you don’t have time for an extended session or hare dealing with a considerable time difference) is recording and sending a voice message when you are at the culmination.
You don’t even have to talk about it before – if you randomly decided to play with yourself, let them know and follow it with a message “I felt so bored without you. I just thought I’d let you know how I’m spending my Sunday”. This will definitely increase the chance of them planning a surprise visit 🙂
If you want to send a video, I’d suggest some preparation in advance – set up the lighting, put on heavy make-up, dress up however you like. Give freedom to your fantasy and do a small performance only for them. Surprises and creativity is what will stop you from soaking into monotony.
Before we start, I can assure that only the first time feels awkward. If you do it once, you will never be looking for advice online again 🙂
It is one of the best activities you can do while in LDR: you will feel closer to your partner, crave talking to each other more often, and feel more confident about your own sexuality, even your face will glow just like after real sex!
Preparation is simple. If you trust your partner (I assume you do, since you are in committed LDR), all you need to do is overcome your fears and have a small talk with them. Discuss if either of you have had similar experiences, agree to give it a try, and stop if either of you feel uncomfortable.
- Not everything you do in bed will look sexy on your partner’s screen. You should also know that it won’t really matter. A erotic experience will reward you with happiness and peace because of the mutual engagement and deep connection you just had. So, don’t think about the way you look all the time. It won’t allow you to relax and enjoy the experience.
- If you feel awkward, tell your partner. It’s very possible your bae is feeling the same way. Talking about it and laughing at yourselves will ease the tension.
- Have a conversation beforehand what both of you would like to see on the screen (remember sexting)–that way you both will know your partner’s expectations.
- If you don’t live alone, make sure your flat mates can’t hear you moaning! Because Skype sex is quite awesome and things could get loud.
- The hardest part is to take off your clothes and start touching yourself the first time. I don’t think there is a possibility you WON’T like it. So, relax and try to enjoy. After few times, you will be talking the same things you’ve been talking about on your sexting platform earlier because you felt nervous.
Get some sex toys which work over distance if you want to bring Skype Sex to another level.
Even though we’ve closed the distance, we have to spend quite some time apart because of my man’s work. I can’t think about our Skype dates without sex toys anymore!
To be honest with you, I was the hesitant one in front of the camera back in the days. Toys helped me ease the tension – seeing/feeling my toy responding to my partner’s movements made sure we experience a shared sensation. It is incredible! It also helped me to completely immerse myself into the pleasure and forget the fact that my partner was 2000 miles away and I was pleasing myself in front of a monitor. Check out my review of toys which work over distance here.
Create erotic games
Weekends in LDR suck the most–you tend to get bored and sometimes even sad. What about spending it in an erotic way? Here’s an idea: give each other orders… over distance. Dedicate one day of the weekend to each of you. Tell you partner what you want them to do: take erotic selfies (take time to give detailed instructions of what you want to see) and send them to you, use a sex toy and send you a video using it (again, use your fantasy to give your exact requirement). You can even agree about rewards for good performance!
Communication online can appear boring, unless you find your way to make it as fulfilling as possible. I would appreciate if you could share erotic games/activities you have with your partner, so I could add them to this list and hopefully inspire someone! You can also send me a private message by using a contact form 🙂