Even in non-LDR relationships, if you’ve been together for a while, you might find it harder and harder to show your affection in new ways. Even for a creative person like me (currently three years with my partner) the daily I-love-yous are still wonderful, but they lack a certain punch.
I feel it’s even more important to tend to those emotional needs when you’re far apart – extra measures to help counter the loneliness, sadness, even jealousy.
I put together some gestures that say “I love you” in marvelous ways…
PICK UP THEIR HOBBY
Taking the time to learn something your partner loves (without them asking) is the equivalent of a football stadium’s worth of “I love you”. Maybe there is a television serious they love. Perhaps they adore painting. What about cooking?
You show you love them enough to take the time to learn their passions. It also gives you so much more to talk about. One example for me was that my boyfriend binged watched one of my favorite shows. He ended up loving it too and now we are both fans.
SURPRISE MESSAGES
I love heart-felt messages that arrive out of nowhere. Do the same for your partner. Compliment them, tell them what you wish you could have done together that day, send warm fuzzies in the morning or just before bed etc.
Few ideas:
“I can’t help but smile when I wake up and think of you.”
“You are the person I want to spend my life with – my soul mate.”
LEARN IT IN NEW TONGUES
It’s a bit on the nose, but learning how to say I love you in different languages can be a cute or romantic addition to your chats. Just be careful that you use right one – and not the one that shows affection for friends … or objects 🙂 . Maybe learn a new one each day and send an audio message saying it.
GET DESCRIPTIVE
You can say I love you without actually speaking the words. Telling them “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me” or “you’re the more precious thing in my life” is a wonderful avalanche of happiness. Even for someone as unpoetic as my boyfriend can come up with some real gems (“Every hard part of today doesn’t matter because listening to your voice makes everything better again.”)
SURPRISE GIFTS
Not for birthdays or other special events. I mean (if you can afford it) giving them something you know they’ll love just for the heck of it. It can be as simple as flower or as complex as a gift basket with a singing telegram. Handmade gifts get you extra points.
PAY ATTENTION
I’m always impressed when my man notices the little things – like when he notices I’ve switch from sugar to stevia, or he remembers something insignificant I said months ago that somehow relates to what we are talking about at the moment. Knowing someone sees these things is priceless.
FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT
Like when you just met – when you were first trying to woo them. It’s a fantastic, healthy fuel for any relationship, but especially one that is strained from distance. Toss in a “nice butt” for good measure and giggles.
SHOW GRATITUDE
Yes, we say thank you for the big things, but thank your lover for other things as well. Don’t get bogged down with everyday life, and all the things that come with it, and forget to show you appreciate them. The little things make all the difference and you need to show you love all of it.
SHARE ABOUT YOURSELF
If you haven’t got to the “deep sharing” yet, know that being vulnerable enough to tell your partner secret or sacred things about yourself shows you want them to be closer to you. It shows trust and love. The things I know about my partner, that no one else does, makes me feel special.
TAKE ON A BURDEN
For example, if taking on the stress of your next meet-up is too much for the other person, why not carry that burden for them? Take away the things that are negatively affecting them. You demonstrate that you not only care about them, but that you are responsible.
SHOW PRIORITY
Showing your relationship is the priority is different for each person, couple, and situation. I’ll just say that gestures in this department can often set foundations for nearly everything you’ll share. Canceling plans to stay home and chat is one example.
CONTRIBUTE TO THEIR GOALS
Helping them achieve their goals is another way to show you care about them. This can be as casual or as involved as you both want. For example, if they’re trying to go to the gym more, check in on their daily exercises, motivate them to go, download useful information, suggest apps, etc. Also, contribute to any rewards when they do meet those goals.
LISTEN, REALLY
Listening just for your turn to speak, or going through the motions of it, is NOT active listening. Besides, many of these suggestions here rely on you really paying attention. Don’t let information gloss over you, ask questions, confirm, rephrase, etc.
What about you? How do you say I Love You without actually saying it? Share in the comments!