It takes time to understand your man’s intentions even if he only lives few blocks away…
If you see each other on the computer monitor a majority of the time, you have to trust your gut feeling until you close the distance.
Let’s admit, being apart means putting a relationship on hold until you can start discovering if you are compatible as a couple.
What are the signs that he is a keeper?
#1 He’s IN a long distance relationship with you
NO ONE ever got into a distance relationship of their own free will. The fact that he is trying to make it work with you while living cities (or countries) away is a sign that his intentions are serious.
#2 He is willing to work on your relationship
You have fights (just like every couple).
Sadly, solving problems over distance are much more complicated than the ones when you are next to each other. It seems tougher to get rid of the frustration and it takes more time and effort to get back to being sweet and loving with each other again.
If you have a major fight, but NEVER talks about breaking up and always assures you that even though things seem to be bumpy, you will make it through together.
He doesn’t disappear for days/weeks either. Instead, he continues to stay in touch and tries to solve the problem by understanding your point of view.
#3 You are his priority
It’s hard to keep someone a priority when you are far and in different time zones. But your hero can wake up at 5AM to wish you a good night or wait until 2AM to hear your voice before bed.
Your work and social responsibilities make it nearly impossible to find time for phone conversations and Skype dates, but if he is putting obvious effort to maximize your communication, he is worth the wait!
#4 He wants to know about your day
He is interested in all the details – what you ate, if you had any interesting conversations, or how are you handling period cramps… He also demands a naked selfie every morning to “help him get through the day”.
He feels sorry if you have difficulties at home/work. He does his best to lift your mood whenever you are low. He makes you feel lucky to have a positive ball of energy which never lets you down.
#5 He encourages you to take up challenges
He never tries to talk you out of trying something new. He is always keen to hear more and encourages you to chase your dreams. He supports your ideas even if they require you to postpone closing the distance or cancel your next meeting.
#6 He celebrates your success
He gets excited about your accomplishments, small or great. He wants to celebrate every step forward and sees it as a common achievement. Moreover, he is proud of you.
#7 He is there for you when an unexpected crisis happens
Unfortunately, no one is protected from bad times…
Recently my friend, who is in a long distance relationship, went through a rough patch (her father was suddenly hospitalized and needed a heart surgery). When things got better, she told me that her boyfriend’s presence in her life made the struggle much easier. Despite the fact that they were countries away, he was there to support her.
If you are confident that he is there for you not only to celebrate your achievements, but also help you to get through the lows of life, don’t let him go.
#8 He remembers what you say
Communication is the key. If he remembers things you say, even if they seem unimportant, you’ve got a real keeper!
#9 He adores you
He adores the way you look, think, move, and laugh and makes sure you know that because he wants to see you as much as possible. Also, he is creative about ways to keep the intimacy alive until your next date (yes, there are many – you just need to use your imagination!).
#10 His future plans include you
He talks about his plans, dreams and ambitions, and they include you. He wants to create a common future with you and is excited to share his aspirations with you or others. His actions follow his words and you know that you can trust him.
#11 He wants to introduce you to his friends and family
His friends know about you. He is excited to introduce you to his family (if he hasn’t done that already).
#12 He is willing to compromise
You never hear him saying: “That’s the way I am and you have to accept me” if you disagree on something. Instead, he does his best to find a compromise which satisfies you both.
#13 He finds time for you
He makes sure to take a 5 minute break from work/studies so he can call you and wish you a good day. It might seem to be a minor detail, but these small gestures are the main source of your strength during this phase.
#14 He shares everything with you
He can’t wait to talk to you and share all the details about his day (not because you ask, but because he wants to). You are the first person he calls when something important happens or he needs an advice. Sharing for him is natural because you are his main advisor.
#15 He cares about his family
He has a strong bond with his family – he talks to them often and visits whenever he can. He loves and respects his mother. If you want to know how a man will treat his wife, look at the way he treats his mother.
This list is based on my personal experience. There might be many other signs that you notice.
Share in the comments section below how did you understand that he is a keeper!
Thanks for the article – it’s been really helpful!
I realized he’s a keeper well just recently yet we’ve been dating for 3years because he’s always there to listen to me and gives helpful advice. And he’s brutally honest and tells me when I’ve screwed up or when he’s going out somewhere, he keeps me in the loop and is just so open and trustworthy. I am generally most time a very jealous gf and have a lot of mood swings (That i am not in any way proud of) and he’s been there through all of them tries to understand things from my point of view and has been an amazing boyfriend! And we visit each other 4 times a year and the most important thing is that he’s been my best friend more than anything and it’s helped to see him as such because even when we can’t talk or network is bad you still know in your heart that person cares for you and in conclusion the biggest sign is someone who gives you their time because I read somewhere that the greatest gift you can give someone is your time because you can never get it back!
Hi;
Great blog, nice to see such wise advice. I have a problem.. Two problems, actually. I met a man online.. He’s Russian, and speaks English well, but still some challenges with words. We were just online friends for 4 months, until he told me he was dying. (Cue the red flags, but he really is). It nearly dropped me like a rock.. and I realized that I could not have him die, without seeing him. 6 days later, I’m in Russia on an emergency visa. I met his doctors, ran errands, and helped out wherever I could. We were intimate (challenging, but possible). Regardless, he made me feel more loved than I ever have in my life. He has lost use of his legs. 7 days later, I few home. He is complex, with anger issues (PTSD from military service) and a serious drinking problem that is killing him. He texts me daily. I do love him. But for so many reasons, he is bad for me. I, am really good for him, though. He has regained interest in living
When home, I met a man, through work, who struck up a conversation.. he’s very nice, and I’m very attracted. He’s asked me out on a date. He lives locally. I’m seriously tempted to go out with him.
I haven’t promised anything exclusive to anyone, but it feels like I would be betraying both of them.
Help me decide what to do..
I’m in a long distance relationship with my distant boyfriend right now and I’ve only met him once, will I ever get to see him again in person?